Posted 1 week ago

bullied:

i like online shopping and putting everything i want in a cart then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab

(Source: bullied)

Posted 1 week ago

RDJ takes the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge and challenges Vincent D’onofrio, Vincent’s son, and Chris Hemsworth. (x)

(Source: letsgetdowney)

Posted 1 week ago

aeriestiel:

becausebirds:

chiltonomics:

owls-only:

An owl landed in a bar

deAR SIR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIZARD?

WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PLACE

Has anyone seen my feet? A magician replaced them with those of a polar bear…

Posted 1 week ago

thorodinbro:

do you ever read a really long fic that takes you like an entire day to finish and you feel so heartbroken that it’s over and you never wanted it to end and so you just lay in bed for a long time all like wtf that was so good i wasn’t done with u yet come back

Posted 1 month ago
I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.
Mitch Hedberg (via turntechdave)

(Source: maxistentialist)

Posted 1 month ago

mymompickedthisurl:

liaaxoo:

I hate when I misplace my glasses because then I’m forced to walk around looking like I’m suspicious of everything in the room

whattabout you, cabinet? huh, you sketchy piece of shit? did you take ‘em?

Posted 1 month ago

thegingermullet:

Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.

Posted 1 month ago

superlology:

I can wiggle my ears and I wear glasses so when I was in high school marching band and we were on the field and my glasses started sliding I would wiggle my ears to pull them back up without touching my face

One of the judges saw and just started laughing and he talked about it on the tape and I listened to it and it was just, “Oh my god. Oh my god. She’s - how are - her glasses - they’re going up - how is she doing that?”

Best. Judging tape. Ever.

Posted 1 month ago

consultinghobbitinthetardis:

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

Basically JK Rowling is so good that she can drop a Harry Potter short story with no publicity or previous announcement and within hours the entire world has read it

and if that’s not power i don’t know what is

She is the Beyonce of literature.

Posted 1 month ago

hate:

cool:

hate is only cool if ur talking about tumblr user hate

hey thats me

Posted 2 months ago
Posted 2 months ago
sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh

sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh

Posted 2 months ago
onlinegf:

people be like “i suck at drawing”

onlinegf:

people be like “i suck at drawing”

(Source: onlinegf)

Posted 2 months ago

masserror:

theatrefetish:

thegirlwithkittyears:

thegirlwithkittyears:

people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with

jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying

7:00 P.M.

AS IN THE FUCKING TIME

I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused

"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”

(Source: j0ye)

Posted 2 months ago