Posted 2 weeks ago
I like rice. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2,000 of something.
Mitch Hedberg (via turntechdave)

(Source: maxistentialist)

Posted 2 weeks ago

mymompickedthisurl:

liaaxoo:

I hate when I misplace my glasses because then I’m forced to walk around looking like I’m suspicious of everything in the room

whattabout you, cabinet? huh, you sketchy piece of shit? did you take ‘em?

Posted 2 weeks ago

thegingermullet:

Did they ever reveal how Captain America was thawed? Because I’m picturing a bunch of Shield agents with hair dryers and I don’t think that’s quite right.

Posted 2 weeks ago

superlology:

I can wiggle my ears and I wear glasses so when I was in high school marching band and we were on the field and my glasses started sliding I would wiggle my ears to pull them back up without touching my face

One of the judges saw and just started laughing and he talked about it on the tape and I listened to it and it was just, “Oh my god. Oh my god. She’s - how are - her glasses - they’re going up - how is she doing that?”

Best. Judging tape. Ever.

Posted 2 weeks ago

consultinghobbitinthetardis:

sherlockedbadwolf24601:

Basically JK Rowling is so good that she can drop a Harry Potter short story with no publicity or previous announcement and within hours the entire world has read it

and if that’s not power i don’t know what is

She is the Beyonce of literature.

Posted 2 weeks ago

hate:

cool:

hate is only cool if ur talking about tumblr user hate

hey thats me

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago
sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh

sofapizza:

naughtywater:

funniestpicturesdaily:

Not the time for a dad joke.

He’s ready.

the time is nigh

Posted 1 month ago
onlinegf:

people be like “i suck at drawing”

onlinegf:

people be like “i suck at drawing”

(Source: onlinegf)

Posted 1 month ago

masserror:

theatrefetish:

thegirlwithkittyears:

thegirlwithkittyears:

people who wear pants past 7 are not the kind of people i associate with

jesus christ i’m getting hate over this because people are putting the word ‘size’ in there when thats not what i was saying

7:00 P.M.

AS IN THE FUCKING TIME

I thought you meant past age 7 and I was rly confused

"Happy birthday son. Since you’re eight now it’s time you learn about kilts.”

(Source: j0ye)

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago

sheerannati0n:

Picture I took of Ed when I met him 5 days ago! No zoom :)

Posted 1 month ago

calukehood:

Teen rock gods I guess that’s a really cool thing to call them but let’s not forget that these are the same boys who had less than 60 seconds left until they had to be up on stage to perform live but they stILL insisted on running outside to pose for a picture with a rainbow

Posted 1 month ago

fuck-yeah-ed-sheeran:

Ed hears ‘Let Her Go' on the radio

(Source: fuckyeahteddysheeran)

Posted 1 month ago